Ramadan is upon us again, another year! I’m still never going to be able to get over the fact of how quick this year, 2018 is just flying by. I can’t believe we’re halfway through the year now, and given the current life situations of mine, time is just flying on by.
Ramadan was/is going fine for the most part. I was afraid of fasting the first few days, because i always think it will be so hard to not eat all day long, but of course, the body surprises you in ways you’ll never imagine. Thankfully, i was able to survive the first day and first few days fine, so then the rest becomes easier. Thirst though, will never be easy to deal with. I’d have water over food any day.
I tried to read a little bit of Quran daily after my Zuhr/Asr prayers. I always try to read the Quran on/off all year long, but especially regularize it during this month. And as per usual, we had a handful of iftar parties every weekend, so that was fun too, but exhausting when people decide to have Sunday night iftari’s because i’m super zombie on Mondays.
Waking up for sehri – sleeping after for few hours – and waking for work, is the absolute worst. I contemplated skipping sehri, but in the past when i do that, i feel like i will 100% pass out/faint by end of day because that makes my fast almost 24 hours, so it’s just NOT worth being sick over being tired.
Working full time, 9-5, and fasting is the truest challenge. I would definitely prefer going to school vs. working during Ramadan. Struggles. We’re in the last 10 days now, and i’m so glad, but also sad at the same time because this month just flew by!
One of the biggest things i’ve done this month is invested in myself and my mental health, for the first time, fully, truly, wholly. Ramadan is a great time to start something new, right? So i did just that. I know mental health is basically taboo and not something discussed in our South-Asian community with our parents generation, but our generation is doing a better job of it so hopefully it will be easier for our kids.
Anyways, i’ve lived most of my life in fear, and in some days i do. Fear of my parents, fear of judgement, fear of what-ifs, what-not, etc. So it’s caused a lot of other issues and i severely lack self-confidence, self-esteem, and doubting everything i do and decision making skills. And there’s no time like the NOW to make changes. I am finally content with this decision i’ve made to actually get help and talk to someone about all of these issues, because it was beginning to cause issues in my relationship, and as i’m entering a new phase of life very soon iA, I finally just decided to DO something about it.
I finally feel good and happy about regaining some control in my life and making this decision to do something, on my own. It’s still early on so i’m not sure how this new step on a weekly basis, is going to pan out, and how much it will truly help. However, i’m hoping and praying i can get to a better place, even if it is in the smallest ways possible, iA.
Anyways, this has been such a chatty post haha. It’s been too long since i’ve felt great and enjoyed blogging. I’ve definitely lost my motivation here (As well as a lot of other things in life), but i’m really hoping by the end of the year, once i’ve gotten past and moved into a new phase in life, then i can really invest in things I TRULY enjoy and i have more time.
Anyways, hope you all are having a great Ramadan. Let me know what your guys’ plan is for Eid!!
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Until next time, XOX
so proud of you for taking your own life into your control – I found myself nodding throughout your post lulz. and you’re right – things will be better for the next generation if we take the steps we need to and set things right for ourselves first iA. 🙂 hope ramzan ends on a high note for you & good luck & lots of duas for once you’ve reached safely into the new phase in your life <3
Thanks for sharing how you’re making your Ramzan your own. Can’t believe it’s already almost over!
…Yes, it’s stigmatized to talk about mental health in our community, but I definitely started some new resolutions this Ramadan too! I wrote about my new resolutions for Ramadan last week in a blog post, if you want to check it out.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities, it’s an extremely brave thing to do. I’m sure it wasn’t as easy as you made it look.
Working during Ramadan is one of the hardest things ever! I’ve taken for granted all the previous Ramadans I’ve experienced with no responsibilities and no work. Being forced to wake up for suhoor (that’s what we call it) because otherwise you’ll be a walking zombie is exhausting! Girl, I totally feel you!
Best of luck with your future projects and achievements ensha’Allah. Hopefully you’ll get your drive back and be inspired to continue blogging (I go through it every now and again then find myself actually digging everywhere and anywhere for inspiration to keep on moving when it comes to online posting instead of shutting everything down.. sigh).
Much love all the way from Morocco! 🙂
Proud of you for the changes you’re making! It’s super difficult to get over the roadblocks and push through, so huge kudos to you 💕
Also, I totally agree that school with Ramadan is so much better than work with Ramadan. I was working 12 hour shifts this Ramadan, and while 3 days doesn’t sound bad…the lack of sleep catches up to you! Sometimes I tell people restraining from food is the easiest part of Ramadan–the discipline to pray extra, sleep at odd times, and keep going with your normal days is what’s hard!